Wednesday, May 25, 2011
It's hard to know if our choices are ever the right ones. It's only after we've made them that we can have the 20/20 hindsight and understand what we might or might not have done differently. I don't live with regrets but sometimes wonder if I could have taken a different path.
As I've been blogging, we plan to file adoption paperwork this year, and it's looking more and more like it will be this fall shortly after we return home from our trip to Ireland. Frankly, the closer we get, the more terrified I become. Am I making the right decision? Are we going to regret giving up our freedom to become parents? What if I have to give up the travel I love so much? Can we really afford another person in our household?
Most of those questions are the voice of fear. I know this deep down in my soul. But that doesn't make the little niggling doubts go away.
One of the biggest concerns for me is how to fund the adoption. Yes, I know you can do fundraisers and bake sales and car washes and... However, even with all of that, there are no guarantees. The good news is we know how to save. We know how to do a budget. We know how to create a plan. The bad news is money doesn't grow on trees. It has to come from somewhere, which means making some sacrifices on our part. On the one hand, I know it's totally worth whatever sacrifice we need to make to bring our kid home. But the other part of my brain is screaming at me, "Don't do it! Don't! What if you regret it? What if this is the biggest mistake of your life?"
The truth is we probably won't have kids any other way. With my health issues and Will's unwillingness to risk my vision with a pregnancy, adoption or no children at all are our options. We don't want to be "old" parents, either, meaning we want to have the kids out of the house by the time we're somewhere in the 50–55 age range. We also realize we want to leave a legacy. After all, what's the purpose in building wealth and preparing for a future if there's no one to share it with down the line in the family tree?
I've been told every parent-to-be has these doubts, these worries, this apprehension and anxiety. Will has promised me we'll continue our travels, and we'll introduce our kid(s) to the world. When I imagine it, I smile. The fear, though...it's always there.
As I've been blogging, we plan to file adoption paperwork this year, and it's looking more and more like it will be this fall shortly after we return home from our trip to Ireland. Frankly, the closer we get, the more terrified I become. Am I making the right decision? Are we going to regret giving up our freedom to become parents? What if I have to give up the travel I love so much? Can we really afford another person in our household?
Most of those questions are the voice of fear. I know this deep down in my soul. But that doesn't make the little niggling doubts go away.
One of the biggest concerns for me is how to fund the adoption. Yes, I know you can do fundraisers and bake sales and car washes and... However, even with all of that, there are no guarantees. The good news is we know how to save. We know how to do a budget. We know how to create a plan. The bad news is money doesn't grow on trees. It has to come from somewhere, which means making some sacrifices on our part. On the one hand, I know it's totally worth whatever sacrifice we need to make to bring our kid home. But the other part of my brain is screaming at me, "Don't do it! Don't! What if you regret it? What if this is the biggest mistake of your life?"
The truth is we probably won't have kids any other way. With my health issues and Will's unwillingness to risk my vision with a pregnancy, adoption or no children at all are our options. We don't want to be "old" parents, either, meaning we want to have the kids out of the house by the time we're somewhere in the 50–55 age range. We also realize we want to leave a legacy. After all, what's the purpose in building wealth and preparing for a future if there's no one to share it with down the line in the family tree?
I've been told every parent-to-be has these doubts, these worries, this apprehension and anxiety. Will has promised me we'll continue our travels, and we'll introduce our kid(s) to the world. When I imagine it, I smile. The fear, though...it's always there.
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3 comments:
Adoption sounds like a really tough decision ... but I think you guys will make the right one. I think you're absolutely right about the family legacy thing ... nothing can replace family. It's the best thing in this world.
Wishing you the best!
Congratulations on your decision to adopt! Adoption is so amazing, but it is also such a rollercoaster and financial stress on top of everything else is no fun. I know that it is hard to ask people to help, but sometimes, people want to help and helping financially makes them feel more a part of your adoption. I am starting to compile a list of different adoption fundraiser ideas (some of them are online ideas) that may help you. I also have some links to other sites with ideas, so when you get back from your trip and are ready to look more into it, let me know. All the best!
Thank you to you both! Sharla, I will take you up on that. Do you have links on your blog?
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