Sunday, March 20, 2011
I was chatting with a friend on Friday, and she pointed something out to me I hadn't previously thought of. Are you ready? It's kind of shocking.
She told me I'm pregnant.
Not literally. But her point was effective. By telling people we're adopting, it's the same as if we'd just announced we're pregnant because we are, essentially, expectant parents. And just like couples who have announced they're pregnant, that leaves us open to friendly—or maybe not-so-friendly—advice.
I like looking at it from that angle. It does make taking the somewhat offensive questions a little bit easier. And as my friend also pointed out, most people don't know someone who has adopted, much less an international adoption. Most are genuinely interested in the process and just curious about how the whole thing works. I can see that, and it makes talking to people about it who say things like, "Why aren't you adopting from here?" slightly more palatable.
It was a week for insightful conversation since I had another one of those earlier in the week. A coworker of mine just got back from China in December with his little boy. And as I gave him the third degree, I said, "I just can't imagine myself as some little person's mother. I still feel so young." It's true; in my head, I'm still 16 years old. And his response to me was this: "You are already that child's mother. Just because you haven't met her yet doesn't mean you aren't her mother." Well, that hit me like a ton of bricks. I almost had to come up for air. Yet it's true as well. There is some little girl in China who may or may not be born yet, and she's waiting for me to come get her. She needs her mom and dad and all the love and support they can provide.
I think I'm ready.
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